Tiger Spurns the Colonial to Hang With Bon Jovi and Feather His Hair

If you had the misfortune of watching the network coverage of the Colonial today, you probably noticed that Tiger wasn't there. Or Phil, or Vijay, or anyone else that bring the sexy. Hardly anyone is playing what used to be a premier event because of a couple things. It all started a few years back when the bombers started avoiding Colonial because the course requires them to carve it off the tee. Now, with this year's Fed Ex Cup schedule slotting the Colonial right before a more bomber-friendly prestige event, the Memorial, and two weeks before the US Open, just about all the big names have decided to sit this one out.

So what do the big guns do when they get a Saturday off? I would imagine Vijay hits about 5,000 balls at his home in Pontre Vedra. Phil probably eats about 5,000 calories at his home in Rancho Santa Fe. And Tiger? Tiger's hanging with a bunch of has-beens.

It's the 10th Annual Tiger Jam this week in Las Vegas. Tiger Jam is the annual blow-out for the charity arm of Tiger Woods Incorporated, so you'd think there'd be some real A-listers showing up. Instead the "Jam" sports a lineup of performers that would make a booking agent at a county fair blush. Not only do the lucky attendees who coughed up $100 a ticket get to watch headliners Bon Jovi, they get treated with PGA Tour house band Hootie and the Blowfish and the heavy metal guy from American Idol, Chris Daughtry. Clay Aiken must have had a prior engagement.

Tiger, I'm a fan, so I'm going to give you passes on Bon Jovi and Chris Daughtry, although it's killing me to do so. But Hootie and the Blowfish? Would these guys even be together at this point if it wasn't for golf charity events? It's been more than ten years since I've seen Hootie on MTV, but I do see him every couple weeks on Golf Central. For god's sakes, I heard Hootie's on Brian Hammons iPod. He's got them on shuffle with John Daly's earlier, funkier stuff.

Tiger, if you're going to skip two-thirds of the golf season each year, all I ask is that you use that time to inventory your money, to make sweet love with your beautiful wife, or to hang with a foreign dignitary or A-list celebrity. When I hear you're spending your weekends with Bon Jovi and and Hootie it makes you sound like Regis Philbin. And that's not good for a guy who's already sponsored by Buick.

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Tiger Spurns the Colonial to Hang With Bon Jovi and Feather His Hair

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